Changes everywhere...what can i do??
Sunday, July 31, 2005
wishing to have a better life=/

wishing to god , praying to god , hopping things will go well all the times
but y? it juz nv change at all =(
i hope sumone will noe it ...begging 4 sumone's care ,juz anyone other than my parents ...
realli wanna smile , coz i nv truely smile b4
coz no one is helping m3=(
hopping to have a betterlife4me
waiting,hopping, wishing to have sumone's care (juz anyone will do~*)

- let it be

Thursday, July 28, 2005
yeah !!! there 's band tmr

firstly, i m wishing fang birthday happie !!!
hez... nv buy birthday present 4 her ... sooo pai seh=p
coz... nv go out 4 2 month n more i think
wishing shopping so much ... but veri busy so cant have the time to go
my life was now band band band n still band , juz band almost everyday ...
but i like band, i juz love band so much
although i dun noe how to play tt play , i still love it =)
coz i believe one day i can make it, juz like my senior
i m trying realli dam hard to blow out a nice n loud sound from my trombone =(
hopping juz to blow well ,i wan to bring my trombone home...but but i have no time to practice playing....
time is juz going too fast when it was after sch...
but when we gt lesson in class , time go dam slow like hell !!!
why it was like this wan!!!
y cant time stop juz 4 a sec , min or an hour ???
i realli need to rest wan ... do anyone now
i m juz too tired of it , gonna collasp anytime x(
nvm life is juz the fact tat no one can stop it nor help u ...it was juz all on ur hand , is u urself tat gonna control it ... no one can help ya realli. i m veri serious about it... there is nothing 4 me to joke anymore...I M REALLI SERIOUS ....REALLI
i muz runaway from my route from now ... starting a new wan tmr ...
there 's sci test tmr ,haven study yet!!!
let m3 die 4 tmr's test, soo i will b easier to start a new route of my life

yy ngo~*starting a new life tmr

- let it be

Tuesday, July 26, 2005
erm...my watch...i miss it=(

i miss my watch badly=(
it glass pieces had broken last week ...
i m too slow motion leh...now then said, anyway my senior said this to me too, juz used to it liao..=(
i m born like this wan.....too depress lor
but nvm la i dun mind she said this to me....is juz is ok is alrite
i wanna find sumone to talk to , hope is my senior =l
but she dun seen to have time ... so i dun wanna tell her bout anything
coz i noe she is tired n ... juz dun wan to said...too much about tt la....
i hope she can b happie , wanna see her smiling to me more ...
but i all wish from her juz cant appear in front of my eyes=(
so decided to look straigth..but i juz cant do tt....
i juz cant stop caring bout her...as she is my everlasting frenz
juz the best frenz to mii =)
hope she will talk to mii more offen....
hopping sooo in 8.34pm.....and 4ever in my life

- let it be

Thursday, July 21, 2005
m i myself???

m i myself???
things dun seen to b my style anymore=(
i m juz being so different ...
there's check up on tue 4 our class ,it is finally other turn...
hoping to have gd result 4 my health.
but...my backbone juz dun seen to b quite rite this year +(
it was juz not straight lor=(
i m sooo depress when i think bout it
but nvm.... hope thing will go well again

erm.... my studies is quite ...
juz like no diff la=(
I JUZ HATE MYSELF, JUZ HATE MYSELF A LOT....
IT WAS JUZ NOT MORE OR LESS THAN ANYONE I HATE....
I DUN LIKE THE ATTIUDE I HAVE NOW A DAY .....
I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF MORE THAN ANYONE=(
i dun like myself, feel to stop wat ever i have done...
i have no way to return , juz no way....

i feel so sorry to her this wed n now still , coz i dun believe her...
i though she is trying to sp me , but tat prove me wrong....
she didn... juz sumthing important , she need to go home immedately
sorrie i really feel sorry to her... hope she will noe how i feel=(
sorrie..... sorrie ....

that's all i have to said ....
sorrie 4 her ~* hoping she will know how i feel.....
juz wanna type :
http://myfrenz4mii.blogspot.com/

- let it be

Saturday, July 16, 2005
i can't help it anymore!!!

i really muz blog ...
all else i will go crazy!!!
coz i m enough of it ... juz enough of anything
i need to find someone to talk to...but nobody seen to care bout me
sooo i need to blog ...
i juz need to express all my feelings , juz to myself=(
mayb one day someone will know me, but i m sure it will not b my frenz in my class...they juz think tat i m that i m the happiest gerl , the craziest ,the forturest gerl in the class...
but tat wasn't the true, juz not, i m juz wanna let all of u noe how good i m, juz a child tat no need anyone to worry bout...
but tat dun even seen to be the fact =(

.............

- let it be

Monday, July 11, 2005
i m juz going to b busy busy busy...

i was veri busy busy busy, juz soo busy this week...=(
nvm i will cut off my tv time, hahaas juz gonna cut it off lor =/
coz i gt no time to watch tv...
gannie was going to check on us, i mean those who didn't pass sa1, n tat 's me!!! i m juz one of them...=(
my class gt 7 of them fail lor, n i m one of them...
soo i muz try to cut off my tv time , hahaas , juz muz cut la, if not i m going to stayed back another year in sec 1 , n i will not going to accept such things to happen to me...
i m juz doing this for my own good , muz force myself then i will do it ...
gannie wan me to past at last 4 to 6 subject if i nv remeber wrongly,
i hope i won't disappoint him , so from now on, i will not b blogging my blog often, i will onli do it once in two week i think=/
i muz have such plan on myself rite???
soooo no one will noe much bout my feelings from tmr or next week i think =/... no matter how sad i m u guys will not know, coz i m not going to express my real feelings in front of u all ....juz onli do it when i was alone=(
i m gonna work veri hard from tmr =)
r u guys happie 4 m3 ??? i hope u guys do =D
juz dun b too worry about me, i m all rite , juz no matter how sad or tired i m,i will always b strong n happie in front of u guys =)
wish me gd lucky kkx !!!?!
i hope u guys do=)

hope u all can agree with me!!! lolx....

my lips was getting better n better, but there is still blueblack on it =(
but it was not pain ,the swallow had reduced quite a lot ...
i think i m gonna recover=)...

bb ...

- let it be

Saturday, July 09, 2005
my lips was injured todea....

my lips was injured todea ,being mashed up by the base drum...
it was juz keep bleeding like hell juz now,
gonna have not enough blood...hahaas
the base drum also knocked onto my trombone ...
haz ...
my poor trombone kept being hit =/
at first my teeth bleed a little, then my mouth bleed
soooo many blood , untill i was shocked about it !!!
the my lips gt blueblack like lor=(
sooo pain ...
can u imagine being hit by two base drum,it was juz sooo big leh the base drum,but i nv ask them to pay 4 anything,as i know it was juz an ancient
.....
sooo i will not blame anyone=)
is juz tat when i blow my trombone, it will still bleed la...
then i will saw blood on my mouth pieces lor
it was juz sooo terrible=(
it happened to have more blood when i blow high notes ...
juz hope tat i will recovered quick
sooo i can play my trombone without any pain...
i will still go 4 the reh tmr =)
i hope i will b better lor, hope tat i won't bleed half way through
tis was wat i hoping now , n will still oso hope all my frenz was happie 4ever,then i will b happie=)
thanx 4 the pple tat was concern bout m3 today , especially trombone section =), i love them all,more than myself=)
hahaas
trombone : shorties , faties n nerdies rock 4ever
......bb......
trombone rawks~*

- let it be

Friday, July 08, 2005
haven no rest at all 4 the whole week!!!

i haven rest at all 4 the whole week!!!
todea go ncc hq ...
i m regret tat i have went there ,
is like things bcoming worst lor=(
my pants like ,cannot put blet onto it...
haz
keep asking myself ,y m i so blurr, y m i so stupid,y can't i do things properly,y y y ?!
I HATE MYSELF , I HATE MYSELF , I HATE MYSELF, I JUZ CAN'T STOP HATING MYSELF!!!
i hate myself ,more than the pple i hate!!!
i juz dunn like myself to b like this...=(
juz like this ...really=/

problem is all created by myself all the time...
i juz can't stop blame myself=(
really really can't

still hunting 4 time ...hunting veri hardly...
juz need to find sum to sleep
i need deas of sleeping time, n tat is enough 4 me!!!
i really muz b strong,veri veri strong
=___(
but i will still help my frenz n seniors anytime they need...=)
pls dun 4get to find me!!! frenz n seniors=)
anyway my seniors is my frenz too=)
i will help u all no matter how tired i m ...=)

- let it be

Wednesday, July 06, 2005
haz..haz..haz...

juz gonna flash back n see my result...
i have wrote in my entries at 27 MaY 05
it was juz terrible!!!
when i look over all my entries todea
i find out tat i m not tat sad , tired n stress last time
i mean not at all lor...=(
but now i dunn seen to smile as much as before...
pple if u have time ,see through all my entries u will know a little...
juz not much la...=/
mmm.... my first entires was 25 April 05
having my blogspot 4 onli 3 months or more i think=/
i m trying veri hard ...juz still tiring la
i m still waiting to improve myself in trombone
still waiting...
i juz couldn't blow well....=(
i muz jia you n jia you sum more...
really need to work hard...
there is no time 4 me to play anymore,
i muz b serious from now
i will not let them disappoint...
no matter how tired i am, i will still try to work hard on it.
really, i will really tired ,
trust m3 =(.....
kkx!!!

i am waiting 4 my answer, still waiting 4 it....
i need sum support x(....really


=___( bb ....

- let it be

Tuesday, July 05, 2005
i think i muz find time to think about it....

i think i muz find sumtime to think about it....
to think more bout my frenz ...
my family...
mayb myself ...
but... i really have no time=(
my dea was juz sooo busy 4 m3
i m still hunting 4 the time...
nobody can give me any of it...onli myself
but all i hope was, to let my frenz n buddies, seniors n family to b happie...
as long as they r happie i will b happie...
i m waiting 4 tis dea to come ,still waiting ...i have waited veri long...but
=(......
nvm ...
as i have said i will wait untill the dea come...untill i m died....

mmmm.........
there was many things 4 m3 to do everydea,but i dun seen to have the time... no time 4 m3 to rest as well ....
i need to revise my work...as i dun quite understand wat the teacher was explaining in class....
but i have no time no time, no time at all!!!!!!!
time is precious to me too...
is juz tat i dunnoe how to used it , n cherish it...=(
it was veri difficult 4 m3 to arrange my dea!!!!!!
juz tooo difficult 4 m3 ...
i oso need to have time to bring my trombone home n practise...
but juz all coz of my time , i can't,
it was not bcoz tat i m lazy to bring it home..=(
everytime wanna bring home my trombone,but when i think of my time...
i juz need to change my mind , n tell my senior tat the trombone is too heavy or wat...i juz won't tell them the real reason about it....

hahaas ..muz b happie=)...
bb =__(

- let it be

Sunday, July 03, 2005
i m sick...=(

i m having a slight fever todea ,
i think was the curry puff yesterday...
i ate two of it leh,but many of them oso eat two but dun see anything happen to them leh...
i m juz too weak la...
can't eat too many tis type of food=(
having throat pain too ...
feel so sick todea =(
n having bodyache , quite pain la ...
n gt little little headache too
sooo many problem my body have...
veri tired too =(
hope i can recover quickly ,
but everytime i sick muz wait untill the next week then will recover wan
soo i think it will not b too soon=/
but sch will still attend wan ...
....n juz wan to thanx pple tat concern m3
bb=/

- let it be

Friday, July 01, 2005
todea's cross country..

todea gt cross country ,
sooo tired after running ...
my position is 93, but i keep telling my frenz that it was 98 ...
dunnoe my brain siao liao,or wat leh...
i think was too tired nowadeas
keep on saiding the wrong thing =(
i wan to go back to deas of b4...
but no diff leh, the same i think =/
as there were too many bad memorise when i was young ...
to know more,flash back to 23 june 05=/
but i didn't said much of it...
deas 4 me was like hell, seeing ppl's face ,inlcuding my family...
watever leh, see sooo manytimes liao , i am sick of it lor
but nvm, things had already happen ,i can't change it anymore
this is MY LIFE !!!
when can it stop???
=(
tmr there is rh 4 the next performance,
dun feel like going=/, but muz go
muz b serious from now n perpared 4 more challenges
muz jia you, =__( feeling worse
juz being scold n nag by my mum, said wat : 'play more com, u will b staying back 4 sec 1 ,one more yr...'.
SHE SAIDING THIS TO ME LEH, feeling sooo stress liao ,saiding this summore, juz like putting oil on the fire in my heart lor...
i juz dun wan to tell them wat i am thinking...
they will not understand n will nag n nag ,untill i am crazy!!!
=_________________(
sick of my life!!!

- let it be

i hate her!!!!

wah lau... she veri wat leh ...
i hate her , i m enough of her
she think who is she, onli...
haz...
many times liao, gt one more oso no diff
have enough of her already,
sooo angery =__(
feel like scolding her , but cannot...

- let it be

YiYing(claire)


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